I thought I was strong
I thought I was brave
I thought wrong.
I only didn’t know the real fear.
Fear of animals…Pfff
Fear of heights…Pfff
Fear to try new things…Pfff
But now I fear something different
Something truly frightening
What am I to you?
The fear of the answer prevents the question.
Do I mean anything else then
a simply friend?
Will you even notice if I’m gone?
Do you think about me?
Do you even care about me?
The fear hunts me day and night
Fall a sleep, dream, wake thinking on you
Is what I do
Why? Cause I cant avoid it.
Why do I torture myself?
You are just a girl…
Aren’t you?
Well I guess you should be, but
To me
You aren’t
You are more then that
You are the one
The one I can’t forget.
The pain comes with the fear.
Even if I mean more then a friend,
I still don’t mean to you what you mean to me.
I just need to forget you.
To forget you
I need to get away from you
I need not to see you
I need time and distance
I need to hide
Hide myself in my own thoughts and tears
While the heart tries to heal
I hope when I’m gone that you miss me
But, if I’m gone and you don’t miss me
It only means I’m nothing to you
And that will crush my heart
Not once
But twice
You see I’m in a death end
The only way throw is
Pain, pain and lots of pain
Days alone trying to not think about you
Try to avoid you and even
Not be anywhere near you.
Every day I wake up
Fighting my own thoughts
Fighting my own dreams and hopes
Fighting my feelings
Fighting me
But I’m not strong enough to win
It’s useless for me to love you
But, still is impossible for me to forget you.
And the question
Remains
What am I to you?
What more could I have done?
I truly hate myself for doing this to me
I wish I could blame anyone else
But it’s my fault.
And so I have no choice
But, to hide in the darkness of my shadow.

P.S: outdated just to fulfill teacher sandra request :P